We have all heard it. The obnoxious “My Garmin says…”, or “the app on my phone says the course was… “, you fill in the rest with too long, too short or whatever else the watch or iPhone says. Out of fairness to these people who argue that their device is spot on I am going to start to side with them, not on the distance or the time, but rather the fact that MY GARMIN SAYS I AM AWESOME! For those who think their device is spot on and exact ALL the time, they have to support my argument and claim as well.
My Garmin says I am awesome has nothing to do with time, distance, and pace but rather where and how I complete my runs. The following three photos are screen shots after I uploading my run on my computer.
In this above photo I am so awesome, I run not on the sidewalks or paved roads but over people’s front lawns, even smashing through their fences and homes. I guess it is true when they same some people hit the wall and others crush it. I don’t know about crushing it because I have never caused damaged to anyone’s fence line or home, but perhaps I have a super power of becoming invisible when I run.
Now this one is where I feel like my true awesomeness (craziness or stupidity) comes out. I read somewhere that calling a runner crazy is a compliment. Well according to my Garmin in the photo above, I didn’t run on the freeway overpass, but rather I ran across the freeway. Ever play real life Frogger?
In this photo, clearly I think crosswalks are overrated. What is the point of them, when taking the chance of getting hit by a car is a much better training technique. I feel that by dodging cars and running across people’s front lawns and even maneuvering around trees and bushes that might be in the way, I become better prepared for those congested water and aid stations.
So maybe all of those people who base their statements on their Garmin or app on their phone are correct. The Garmin is spot on, I mean clearly the proof is in what I see on the maps when I download my run onto my computer. So don’t ever question my ability to run through walls, tress, and right in front of cars, because “MY GARMIN SAYS”.
Disclaimer: Please do not try to run through walls, run directly across a freeway or in fact run through people’s front lawns. I guarantee you that your Garmin will say you are an idiot.